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Writer's pictureJonathan Daugherty

Understanding Man's Inner Sexual Conflict

In this interesting podcast episode, Dr. Stephen Cervantes and I tackle the pervasive issue of temptation, particularly in the realm of male sexuality. Through a thought-provoking role-playing exercise, we illustrate the internal dialogue among the mind, body, and spirit when faced with temptation. This exploration aims to shed light on the complexities of human desire and the spiritual struggle that accompanies it.



Setting the Scene

Dr. Cervantes opens the discussion by acknowledging the overwhelming presence of sexuality in modern culture. Temptation is ubiquitous, whether at the beach, watching television, or simply walking through a public space. This constant exposure can lead to an internal conflict, prompting the question: how do we navigate these temptations?


The Role-Playing Exercise

To illustrate this conflict, Dr. Cervantes and I role-play the different parts of the self: the mind, the body, and the spirit. Each part has its own perspective and response to temptation.


The Mind

  • Observation and Curiosity: My mind is the first to react, observing the temptation and expressing curiosity. It acknowledges the presence of sexuality and suggests taking a closer look.

  • Rationalization: My mind begins to rationalize the desire for pleasure, arguing that there is nothing wrong with exploring these thoughts.


The Body

  • Arousal and Craving: Following my mind's observation, my body responds with arousal. It craves pleasure and excitement, seeking immediate gratification.

  • Instinctual Reaction: My body’s reaction is instinctual, driven by a desire for the sensations associated with temptation.


The Spirit

  • Call for Discipline: In contrast, my spirit urges restraint. It calls for discipline and reminds me of my higher purpose.

  • Consequences Awareness: My spirit emphasizes the importance of taking thoughts captive and not succumbing to fleeting desires, warning of the potential consequences.


The Inner Sexual Conflict

As the dialogue unfolds, the tension between these parts becomes evident. My mind and body engage in a back-and-forth dialogue, each trying to persuade the other to give in to desire. My spirit, however, remains steadfast, urging me to remember my values and the potential repercussions of my choices.


The Cycle of Temptation

  • Rapid Internal Conflict: This internal conflict occurs in mere milliseconds, yet it can feel like a prolonged battle.

  • High Stakes: The decisions made in these moments can shape the future direction of my life.


The Wounded Self

We introduce the concept of the "wounded boy" within each person, representing the emotional pain and longing for comfort that often drives individuals toward temptation.


The Wounded Boy's Perspective

  • Seeking Solace: My wounded boy seeks solace in pleasure, believing it can provide the comfort and acceptance that is otherwise lacking.

  • Frustration with Discipline: It expresses frustration at my spirit's insistence on discipline, feeling denied the comfort it craves.


The Spirit's Response

  • Commitment to Guidance: My spirit reaffirms its commitment to guiding me toward a healthier path.

  • True Freedom: It emphasizes that true freedom comes from discipline and self-control, not from succumbing to momentary desires.



The Crescendo of Inner Sexual Conflict

As the dialogue reaches its peak, the sexual part of myself asserts its dominance, declaring that it will not be denied. The wounded boy joins in, expressing a desire for immediate comfort and pleasure, further complicating the inner sexual conflict.


The Spirit's Stand

  • Reminder of True Identity: My spirit stands firm, reminding me of my true identity in Christ and the freedom that comes from resisting temptation.

  • Advocating for Deeper Connection: It challenges the notion that pleasure is the only source of comfort, advocating for a deeper, more fulfilling connection with myself and with God.


The Call to Stand Firm

Dr. Cervantes emphasizes the importance of standing firm in the face of temptation. He encourages listeners to "fight, hold, grow, and discipline" themselves, urging them not to retreat or give in.


Key Questions to Reflect On

  • Desire for Peace: Do you want the peace that surpasses understanding? The answer lies in the fight for peace, joy, love, and comfort.

  • Future Self: Who do you want to become over the next thousand days? Will you choose to fight for good, hold onto your peace, and stand firm even in difficult times?


Understanding Temptation

We explore the nature of temptation, pointing out that it often seeks to isolate individuals, pulling them away from their connection with God and from one another.


Recognizing Inner Conflict

  • Sign of Spiritual Life: Rejoice in the struggle, as it indicates the presence of the Spirit of God within you.

  • Guidance from the Spirit: Remember that you have the Spirit to guide you, reminding you of the truth and calling you to a higher purpose.


The Role of the Holy Spirit

The Holy Spirit is there to help individuals navigate their struggles, providing comfort and guidance.


Practical Steps

  • Invite the Spirit: During moments of struggle, invite the Spirit to the forefront, allowing the wounded self to step back and receive comfort and support.

  • Foster Healing: This approach fosters healing and unity within oneself, enabling individuals to confront their needs for pleasure and comfort in a healthier way.


The Power of Connection

We emphasize the importance of community in overcoming temptation. We encourage listeners to reach out to trusted friends or mentors when feeling overwhelmed.


Practical Approach

  • Eight-Minute Phone Call: Use the phrase, "Do you have eight minutes for a phone call?" This respectful request acknowledges the other person's time while emphasizing the potential impact of a brief conversation.


Closing Reflections

Dr. Cervantes and I reiterate our commitment to helping listeners take their next best step toward wholeness in Christ. We encourage anyone on this journey to reach out for support, emphasizing that they are not alone in their struggles.


Invitation to Future Discussions

The episode concludes with a heartfelt invitation to return for future discussions, reinforcing the message of hope and healing.


Conclusion

This episode serves as a powerful reminder of the inner battles individuals face when confronted with temptation. By recognizing the dynamics of mind, body, and spirit, and by fostering connections with others, listeners can navigate their struggles with greater awareness and grace. The journey toward wholeness is ongoing, but with the right tools and support, it is a path that can lead to profound transformation and peace.


By diving deep into the nuances of temptation and inner conflict, Dr. Cervantes and I provide valuable insights and practical advice to help you navigate your own struggles. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and with the right support and guidance, you can overcome temptation and find true peace and fulfillment.

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