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Why Manly Men Don't Use Porn

Updated: Jul 3


man exalting on rock peak

What do Bruce Willis in Die Hard, John Wayne in his Westerns, and Sean Connery as James Bond have in common? They are all men of adventure. Prior to modern society and the taming of the west, having an adventure (and getting killed in the process) was much easier. You could take off on your horse with a rifle and a six-shooter, and adventure was sure to find you. How about today? Will I find adventure as I take off in my Honda for work in an office building?


Men are Made for Adventure


Manly men need adventure. We were made for it and crave it. Yet today, adventures don’t come as naturally as they once did. While it is true we can still hike a mountain, scuba dive beneath the ocean, or sail across the sea, we are busy. Finding adventure takes work and we are exhausted after a tough day at the office. So, we turn on the TV or the computer, sit back in a stuffed chair, and live adventures vicariously through actors on the screen.


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An Unhealthy Substitute for Real Adventure


Pornography serves the same purpose. It gets my heart racing as good as any movie action scene. It fills my mind with endorphins. In a sense, it involves adventurous conduct as my mind meets hundreds of women committed to filling my sexual desires. Fantasy can be like that – ready to fill my wildest dreams.


What is not advertised is that porn’s fantasy world carries devastating consequences, as it changes who I am on the inside. I begin to think differently about relationships, about love and about a productive life. It has a possessive and addictive quality that keeps me longer than I want to stay and takes me further than I want to go. It controls me.


Adventure Still Exists Today


Our desire for healthy adventure is not as hard to fill as it seems. Anything with an element of danger, exhaustion, newness, competition, or which pushes the limits of routine conduct will do. Take a new route to work. Get up early and hike to a nearby park. Dare a friend to swim across a lake with you. Learn outdoor survival techniques. I took one of my Ruckus mopeds across town to work in rush-hour traffic the other day, just for fun.


Or, try one of these on for size:


  • Hunting

  • Fishing

  • Geocaching

  • Hiking

  • Snow or water skiing

  • Shooting Sports – Rifles, handguns or bow and arrow

  • Paintball

  • Motorcycling

  • Martial Arts Training (just remember, little people can hurt you)

  • Rock Climbing

  • Single-Track Bicycling / Road Racing

  • Zip Lines

  • Snorkeling

  • Spelunking

  • Parachuting

  • 24 Hour Relay


Manly men don’t use porn to fill their need for adventure. We explore the world around us - undeterred by increased risk. We pursue the exhilaration of living closer to the edge and the excitement of something new (not “shopping” new – "physical-activity-with-risk" new). Then, we come home for a relationship with a real woman. We give of ourselves to provide for her needs. We pursue her and seek to understand her. Then, as a loving partner, she is free to meet our needs. While this relationship takes work and our wives do not always respond the way God’s plan was designed, when it does come together, it is the perfect companion to a life of adventure.

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