Inside the Wives Care Program: A Week-by-Week Guide to Healing from Betrayal Trauma
- Jonathan Daugherty
- Dec 27, 2025
- 7 min read
One of the deepest honors in this ministry is walking with wives whose lives have been shattered by sexual betrayal. From that place of deep pain, God continues to write powerful stories of healing, courage, and community through our Wives Care Groups.
These eight–week online groups are designed to give wives a safe place to breathe, to be believed, and to begin rebuilding life with Jesus and alongside other women who truly understand.
The following is an outline of our Wives Care Groups from the amazing team of women who lead the groups, most of whom are volunteers.
Why Wives Care Exists
Betrayal trauma is disorienting. Many wives describe those first months—or years—as darkness, confusion, and isolation. Jean, one of our long–time volunteers, shared that she spent five years with no help at all, followed by another five years with uninformed help, before finally discovering the kind of care she desperately needed.
Stories like hers are why Wives Care exists. These groups focus first and foremost on the wife’s heart: her safety, her emotions, her questions, and her relationship with God, regardless of what happens in the marriage. Andrea put it simply: “I needed to heal me… this is for the wife.”
The Heart Behind the Team
The women who lead our Wives Care Groups are not stepping into theory; they are stepping onto what Jean called “holy ground.” They have walked their own betrayal journeys and now show up as “battle buddies” for wives across the country and around the world.
Gigi, our Wives Care Director, sensed from the very beginning that this work must never be done alone—either for the women we serve or for the leaders who serve them. Every group has at least two leaders present, embodying the very community they invite wives into.
Sue speaks of a “God–given passion burning inside” her to come alongside women and help them find healing and wholeness after betrayal, just as others once carried her.
Rebecca loves watching women encounter God in ways that cannot be scripted—receiving “God confidence” for the road ahead and experiencing the validation of being truly seen and heard.
Anne, serving from Nairobi, describes herself as one who has “fought with the bear and the lion” and now stands as a sign of hope, reminding women that redemption and restoration in Christ are possible.
This is kingdom work. Gigi describes God using the entry point of trauma to bring deep healing and freedom so that women can step into all He has for them beyond the crisis.
How the Groups Have Grown
For almost ten years, we’ve continued to refine and strengthen Wives Care based on what women tell us they need most.
From six to eight weeks: Again and again, wives told us, “We need more time. We’re just starting to bond.” So starting in 2025, we expanded to eight weeks to slow the pace, deepen connection, and allow more time for processing and breakout conversations.
From scattered emails to a full manual: Instead of piecemeal content, every participant now receives a beautifully edited PDF manual—tools, exercises, and resources all in one place that she can print, revisit, and continue using long after the group ends.
Three offerings each year: Groups now run three times annually—February–March, June–July, and October–November—so that wives don’t have to wait an entire year for an on–ramp to support.
And from day one, one priority has never changed: creating the safest possible environment for a woman in crisis to show up exactly as she is, at the pace she can bear.
A Week–by–Week Journey of Care
Every wife enters these groups in her own place: raw, numb, angry, hopeful, exhausted. The structure of the eight weeks is not about rushing anyone through a formula but about gently offering education, tools, and community she can engage at her own pace—often well beyond the group itself.
Week 1 – Story Sharing and Safety
The journey begins with story. Marylee describes Week 1 as a time of “holding space for each other’s story and the pain that we’re in.” Many women have never told anyone the full truth of what they’ve experienced.
To protect that vulnerability, anonymity is taken seriously:
Wives may use a nickname instead of their real name.
Cameras can be on or off.
Everyone agrees to a promise of anonymity and confidentiality.
This first week is not about forcing full disclosure; it is about offering courageous women a safe, gentle way to begin bringing their story out of the shadows.
Week 2 – Emotional Care and Grounding
Betrayal triggers both physical and emotional shock. In Week 2, Anne and the team help wives name what often feels like emotional chaos: overwhelm, confusion, rage, despair, numbness.
This week includes:
Education on emotions and trauma, validating that what they feel is normal in light of what they have endured.
Tools for self–regulation: grounding exercises, breathing practices, and strategies to help calm the body and nervous system.
A guided start to grief work, often through pairing women for a gentle “naming losses” exercise.
A key theme is generous self–care—physically, emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually—as a vital part of survival and healing, not selfishness.
Week 3 – Healthy Detachment
Healthy detachment is not coldness or indifference; it is learning where a wife ends and her husband begins. Gigi speaks passionately about this because, like many, she realized years into her marriage that she had lost track of who she was.
Week 3 invites wives to:
Discern what is theirs to carry and what is not—especially in terms of their husband’s choices, behavior, and recovery.
Release attempts to control, obsess, or fix that drain energy and deepen anxiety.
Re–center on God with questions like, “Lord, what do you expect from me today?”
This is a journey, not a switch. The group emphasizes avoiding comparison and taking the next faithful step from where each woman actually is.
Week 4 – Boundaries in the “Messy Middle”
Boundaries naturally flow from healthy detachment. Jean calls boundaries “messy business” because they are often misunderstood by spouses, friends, and even churches. Things can feel like they get worse before they get better.
In Week 4, wives learn:
What boundaries are: clear requests and limits a wife sets for her own safety and well–being.
What boundaries are not: a way to control or parent a spouse.
How to anticipate and prepare for pushback or misunderstanding.
A core idea is that boundaries give both husband and wife the dignity of choice: he chooses how he will respond, and she chooses how she will respond if her boundaries are not honored. Boundaries become an invitation: “Will you help me heal?”
Week 5 – Sexual Brokenness and Communication
Week 5 tackles the area most wives wish they never had to face: their husband’s sexual brokenness. Rebecca explains that the team uses the term “problematic sexual behavior” because it focuses on impact rather than trying to rank particular behaviors.
This week emphasizes:
It is not her fault. Underlying issues in her husband’s story never excuse or transfer responsibility for his choices onto her.
Practical communication tools to navigate historically unhealthy patterns—tools that can be used not only in marriage but in other relationships as well.
An optional spiritual exercise of “going to God as the source,” asking God to reveal His perspective on the husband—not to minimize the harm, but to let God hold the “whole package” when she cannot.
Women are free to engage this exercise only if and when they are ready; it is offered as a tool, not a demand.
Week 6 – Marriage After Betrayal
Not every marriage survives sexual betrayal, and the group is honest about that reality. Jean reminds wives that forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing.
In Week 6, the group explores:
Forgiveness as a process, not a rush job. Grieving and naming losses well is vital because it is hard to truly forgive what has not been fully acknowledged.
Reconciliation as a two–person work. A husband must choose to rebuild trust; a wife cannot do it for him. Some husbands engage that work; others do not.
Ongoing boundaries and communication tools that help a wife discern what safety and wisdom look like, whether she is married, separated, or divorced.
Wives Care is for the woman, not her marital status. Every wife is welcome.
Week 7 – Identity in Christ
Sexual betrayal often shakes a woman’s sense of value, belonging, and purpose to the core. Sue describes Week 7 as a time when women “come alive” as the Holy Spirit speaks truth to their hearts about who they really are in Christ.
This week includes:
Exploring how early life experiences and trauma can seed lies about identity (“I’m not enough,” “I’m unlovable,” “I’m to blame”) that betrayal then reinforces.
Exposing those lies and intentionally exchanging them for God’s truth about who she is.
Experiencing the joy of belonging again—seeing hearts “knitted together” and friendships forming that often continue beyond the group.
The meeting concludes with a time of personal encouragement, speaking life and hope over each woman as she takes her next steps.
Week 8 – Connection, Community, and Next Steps
Andrea calls connection one of her highest values, and Week 8 reflects that. All three groups—morning, afternoon, and evening—come together for an online “open house,” bringing roughly two dozen women into one shared space.
This final week offers:
A warm, relaxed environment to meet other wives walking similar roads.
A big–picture overview of Be Broken’s ministries—men’s ministry, family care, Pure Life Academy e–courses, and more—to show that she is joining a much larger healing community.
A live Q&A with me (Jonathan) where wives are encouraged to bring their hardest questions. The goal is not to tie everything up with a bow but to engage honestly and provide guidance for ongoing healing.
Crucially, Week 8 answers the question, “What’s next?” through Wives Care Next and other ongoing resources, so a woman is not dropped at the end of the eight weeks but invited into continued community.
A Warm Invitation
If you are a wife walking through the wreckage of betrayal, the message from our Wives Care team is simple: you do not have to walk this road alone. There is a safe, Christ–centered community ready to sit with your pain, honor your story, equip you with practical tools, and gently remind you who you are in Jesus.
To learn more or to register for an upcoming Wives Care Group, visit bebroken.org/wives, and consider this a personal invitation to join a circle of women and leaders who will walk with you, one step at a time, toward hope and healing.
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