Pure in Heart: Sexual Sin, Redemption, and the Pursuit of God

If you’re reading this post, it’s not by accident. At Be Broken Ministries, we believe God orchestrates all things for our good and His glory, even the moment you stumble upon a blog post about sexual purity.

In a recent episode of Pure Sex Radio, I sat down with Garrett Kell—pastor, husband, father of seven, and author of Pure in Heart: Sexual Sin and the Promises of God. Garrett's personal journey, his restoration in ministry, and his practical wisdom for the church remind us: freedom from sexual brokenness is possible, but it’s not found through rules. It’s discovered in the powerful pursuit of God Himself.

A Cracked Vessel, Redeemed

Garrett’s story is one many will find painfully familiar. Early exposure to pornography as a boy introduced him to confusion and darkness at a young age, warping desire well before he even understood what he was experiencing. When he came to know Christ at age 21, Garrett describes it as God “interrupting my sin-loving life and showing me the grace of Jesus.” This wasn’t a clean-and-clear “before and after,” though. Like so many, Garrett became a Christian, entered ministry, and kept struggling for years with hidden sin—even as a pastor.

His confession, first to a friend, then to church elders, and finally before his whole congregation, was excruciating. Garrett describes that moment as dying to his image—to every fear, especially fear of man. But it was also the beginning of a new life. “Light is sin’s kryptonite,” he says.

“There’s a dying that happens when you become a Christian, but a deeper dying when you bring your darkness fully into the light.”

What followed was messy. The church was unsure how to respond. Mistakes were made. Yet, over time, the grace of God prevailed. Garrett’s honesty, humility, and willingness to own his sin—not blame circumstances or his past—became instruments of healing. The lesson? Restoration requires real transparency, a vertical view of sin as ultimately against God, and a willingness to die to self and let others see the whole truth.

The True Nature of Purity

Garrett’s book, Pure in Heart, is a gift to the church—born from these wounds and the hope of Christ’s promises. He’s clear: purity is more than the absence of sexual sin. “Holiness is not just what you don’t do; it’s equally what you pursue.” God built us to have deep desires—to delight in Him and the good gifts He gives. Avoiding sin, by itself, misses the heart of purity; it’s about seeking a better pleasure in God, not merely avoiding the fleeting allure of lust.

“Holiness is not just what you don’t do; it’s equally what you pursue.”

Kell writes, “Purity is fleeing the pleasure of sin and pursuing the pleasure of God by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Rules and filters have their place (“make no provision for the flesh”), but willpower is a leaky dam. Lasting change comes by beholding Christ: “We are being transformed from one degree of glory to another when we have unveiled face, beholding the glory of Jesus” (2 Corinthians). The goal isn't purity for purity’s sake—God Himself is the goal. Purity is the means to see Him and experience His power in a deeper way.

Pursuing the Pleasures of God in Real Life

Garrett doesn’t leave us with high theology and no pathway home; he brings this pursuit down to real temptations. He shares, for example, a recent moment with social media—a surprise encounter with something seductive. The flesh wants to linger, to peek. But Garrett describes fighting this by grabbing hold of a promise of God and responding immediately: blocking, deleting, confessing to his wife and elders, and choosing to pursue the pleasure of God. He calls this “grabbing a promise for fire,” nuking temptation with truth, and finding freedom by walking in the light.

Confession here isn't just a duty; it's a relational act. By being honest with his wife and trusted friends, Garrett not only fights the deceitfulness of sin but cultivates true intimacy. And he insists that this candid walk is a daily one: “My elders are commanded to help me every day as it’s called today so that my heart isn’t hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.”

God’s Good Design for Sex

So much of the church's message about sex is nothing but prohibition: “Don’t do it.” Garrett and I both agree—that’s incomplete and misleading. God created sex as a good gift, like fire in a fireplace: warm, beautiful, and life-giving if handled rightly. Take it outside the boundaries and it burns down your house.

Real sexual joy, he argues, is found in covenant marriage—a lifetime of learning and loving one another, growing deeper in intimacy through every season of life. A friend of his captured this beautifully: “I don’t have sex with the same woman. After 20 years, my wife isn’t the same woman. We’ve walked through joy and grief, success and loss. The intimacy is deeper than cotton-candy excitements—those flashes are nothing compared to the richness God designed for a husband and wife.” Pharisaical rules rob us of that depth; God’s word wants to lead us into it.

Recognizing and Battling the Enemies

Garrett is clear-eyed about the enemies of purity, and so must we be. The world, the flesh, the devil—these are not mere concepts but active forces fighting against us. The world (the spiritual system shaped by Satan) is designed to cater to the flesh, to offer happiness apart from God, mute consequences, and promote discontentment. Commercials don’t remind us we’ll answer to a holy God; instead, they peddle entitlement, ease, and instant gratification.

Sin is made easy, holiness hard.

Those striving for purity must fight back intentionally—not just by avoiding, but by feeding the heart on truth, seeking help from others, and refusing to hide. Garrett’s advice is practical: create layers of protection around your family, be vigilant, and recognize that passive drift will never move you toward wholeness. “All you have to do to go to hell is what comes naturally,” he warns—so fight!

Entering the Light: The Power of Confession

One of the most transformative pathways to purity, and one highlighted in Garrett’s story, is entering the light through confession. Too many hide behind fear—of losing their reputation, their job, even their family. But left in the dark, sin does its work like cancer. If we don’t remove the whole tumor, a deadly root remains.

Confession is scary, but God blesses honesty. When we grieve the Spirit by hiding, we mute God’s work in our lives. The good news is that God helps those who cannot help themselves. This isn’t just for people coming to Christ for the first time—it’s the ongoing grace that every believer desperately needs.

“We never get over needing the grace of God".

If fear holds you back, start there—bring your fear itself to God, and trust Him to walk with you through the consequences. On the other side of honesty, there is real nearness to Jesus, a joy and freedom worth every cost. “You get Him,” Garrett says, “and He’s all we really need anyway.” All restoration begins in the light; all lasting intimacy begins in honesty.

Rooting Purity in Identity

Ultimately, a life of purity is anchored in our identity in Christ. The world tries to define us by our achievements, our network, our performance, or our failures. But God declares a different identity: foreknown, chosen, beloved, destined for glory. Freedom comes from living in this identity—not striving to impress, not hiding behind masks, but standing free and alive in Christ.

When the church lives from this truth, there is no room for strutting, no need for comparison. We can be honest because what matters most is who God says we are. This honesty liberates the body of Christ. When everyone puts up a facade, sin festers. When the masks drop, healing begins and the love of Christ shines forth. As Garrett reminds us, “Jesus washed feet, He didn’t strut,” and we’re called to follow Him into real relationship, real humility, and real freedom.

An Invitation to Take Your Next Step

Before closing, Garrett shares a word of hope:

“If you’re hearing this, it’s part of God’s providence. Everything is on purpose. He’s set it up for you to hear this so you can take something to heart from this conversation. If you hear His voice, don’t harden your heart.”

If you’re stuck in secrecy, don’t wait—reach out to someone trusted, step into the light, and let Jesus meet you in your brokenness. The One who is victorious lives in you. You’re not who you used to be. In Christ, you’re free, empowered by the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead. Surround yourself with those who love you and aren’t impressed with you, and walk in honesty and humility with others.

Jesus is faithful. Whatever it costs, honesty is worth it. There is freedom, hope, and new life waiting for every person who comes to the end of himself and turns to the one who washed feet and went to the cross—for you, for me, for every broken vessel. Take the next step. It matters for eternity.

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If you want to learn more or need help on your journey, reach out. The team at Be Broken Ministries is ready to walk alongside you—the journey from sexual brokenness to the powerful pursuit of God is always worth it.