Living Loved: The Transformative Power of Your Identity in Christ
- Jonathan Daugherty
- Nov 7
- 5 min read
In this episode, I had the privilege of sitting down once again with KathyGrace Duncan—a leader, mentor, and living testimony of God’s transformative power. If you’re wrestling with questions of identity, struggling to bridge the gap between what you know about God and what you truly believe in your heart, or simply longing for deeper transformation, this post is for you.
KathyGrace’s story is remarkable: after living as a man for 11 years, she encountered Jesus, experienced radical redemption, and has now spent over three decades walking in her God-given identity as a woman. Today, she leads in women’s and transgender ministry at Portland Fellowship and serves on the Changed Movement leadership team. Our conversation centered on the theme of identity in Christ—a topic that’s both culturally urgent and spiritually foundational.
Below, I’ll break down the key insights and actionable steps from our discussion, diving deep into the biblical truths, practical advice, and personal stories that can help you move from head knowledge to heart transformation.
Understanding Identity: Beyond Gender, Rooted in Christ
1. Identity Is About Whose You Are, Not Just Who You Are
KathyGrace began by grounding our conversation in 1 Peter 2:9:
“But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.”
Key Insight:
Our truest identity isn’t defined by gender, achievements, or failures—it’s defined by our relationship to God. We are chosen, set apart, and deeply loved.
Action Step:
Regularly meditate on Scriptures that declare who you are in Christ. Write them out, speak them aloud, and let them shape your self-perception.
2. The Old Man vs. The New Man: A Biblical Framework for Transformation
KathyGrace unpacked the biblical language of the “old man” and “new man,” drawing from Ephesians 4:17-24 and Galatians 5:19-23.
The Old Man:
Described as:
Walking in futility (incapable of producing good fruit)
Alienated from God’s life and purpose
Living in ignorance and spiritual blindness
Marked by the “works of the flesh” (adultery, jealousy, selfish ambition, etc.)
The New Man:
Described as:
Created according to God’s image in true righteousness and holiness
Marked by the “fruit of the Spirit” (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control)
Practical Application:
Self-Examination:
Regularly ask yourself: Which “garment” am I wearing today? Are my actions and attitudes reflecting the old man or the new man?
Intentional “Putting Off” and “Putting On”:
Visualize leaving behind the old, like taking off a worn-out coat or sweater, and consciously “putting on” the new identity Christ offers.
The Process of Transformation: Renewing the Mind
3. Renewal Is Ongoing, Not One-and-Done
Transformation isn’t a single event—it’s a lifelong process. KathyGrace highlighted Romans 12:2:
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…”
Greek Nuance:
The verb tense for “renewing” is continuous. We are always in the process of being renewed.
Metamorphosis Analogy:
Just as a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, our transformation is mysterious, gradual, and starts in the mind.
Actionable Tips:
Daily Renovation:
Treat your mind like a house under renovation. Identify old, broken thought patterns and invite God to rebuild with truth.
Scripture Immersion:
Make time each day to read, reflect, and memorize God’s Word. Let it challenge and reshape your thinking.
4. From Head Knowledge to Heart Belief
Both KathyGrace and I shared how easy it is to “know” biblical truths intellectually, yet struggle to believe them at a heart level. The journey from head to heart is often the longest and hardest.
Behavior Flows from Belief:
What you truly believe in your heart will shape your actions, not just what you mentally assent to.
Example:
You might know that God loves you, but if your heart believes you’re unworthy, your life will reflect insecurity and striving.
How to Bridge the Gap:
Ask “Why?”
When you react in unhealthy ways, trace it back: What am I believing about myself, God, or others?
Invite Safe Community:
Share your struggles with trusted mentors or friends who can speak truth and help you discern lies.
Persistent Prayer:
Pray specifically for God to move truth from your head to your heart. KathyGrace shared how she prayed for an entire summer to truly believe God’s love for her.
Cultivating the Fruit of the Spirit: A New Approach to Prayer and Growth
5. Pray With the Spirit, Not Just Against the Flesh
KathyGrace offered a profound shift in how we approach spiritual growth:
Old Way:
Praying against negative behaviors (e.g., “God, help me not to be angry!”)
New Way:
Praying for the fruit of the Spirit to fill you (e.g., “God, fill me with Your peace and patience.”)
Why This Matters:
Overflow Principle:
As you fill your heart and mind with God’s truth and presence, the old patterns are displaced—like pouring clean water into a dirty cup until it runs clear.
Root vs. Fruit:
Don’t just address surface behaviors; ask God to reveal and heal the underlying beliefs driving them.
Practical Steps:
Scripture-Based Prayers:
Use passages like Galatians 5:22-23 as a template for your prayers.
Journaling:
Write out areas where you see the works of the flesh and ask God to replace them with His fruit.
Embracing Trials as Opportunities for Growth
6. Don’t Waste Your Trials—Let Them Reveal and Refine
KathyGrace encouraged us to see challenges not as setbacks, but as opportunities for deeper transformation.
Trials Expose the Heart:
Difficulties often reveal what we truly believe and where we need God’s deliverance.
Ask the Right Questions:
Instead of “Why is this happening?” ask, “God, what are You showing me about my heart? What needs to change?”
Actionable Advice:
Reflect After Challenges:
After a tough situation, take time to process: What did I feel? What did I believe in that moment? How can I invite God into this area?
Seek Support:
Don’t go it alone. Reach out to mentors, counselors, or support groups who can walk with you through the refining process.
Living Loved: The Foundation for Obedience and Joy
7. Let God’s Love Be Your Motivation, Not Duty
Both KathyGrace and I agreed: When you truly know you are loved by God, obedience becomes a joy, not a burden.
1 John 5:3:
“For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome.”
Living Loved:
When you operate from a place of being deeply loved, you’re free from striving, comparison, and fear.
How to Experience This:
Persistent Pursuit:
If you don’t feel God’s love, keep seeking. Pray, read Scripture, and ask God to reveal His heart to you.
Celebrate Progress:
Transformation is gradual. Celebrate small victories and moments of clarity.
Resources and Next Steps
Connect with KathyGrace Duncan and Ministries
Portland Fellowship: portlandfellowship.com
Changed Movement: changedmovement.com
If you’re looking for support, mentorship, or community as you walk out your identity in Christ, don’t hesitate to reach out.
Final Encouragement
Friend, you are not defined by your past, your struggles, or even your feelings. You are defined by the One who made you, redeemed you, and calls you His own. The journey from head knowledge to heart belief is real—and it’s worth every step. Keep pressing in, keep seeking, and remember: God is more committed to your transformation than you are. He delights in you, and He will finish the good work He’s begun.
Let’s keep walking this out together—one day, one prayer, one step at a time.
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