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Sexual Discipleship in Parenting: Moving Beyond Sex Education to Lifelong Transformation

  • Writer: Jonathan Daugherty
    Jonathan Daugherty
  • 19 hours ago
  • 5 min read

Welcome, friends! I’m Jonathan, and today I’m thrilled to share insights from my recent conversation with Dr. Juli Slattery, a leading voice in Christian sexuality and the founder of Authentic Intimacy. We dove deep into the concept of sexual discipleship—especially as it applies to parenting in today’s culture. If you’re a parent, grandparent, or anyone invested in the next generation, this post is for you.



Let’s break down what sexual discipleship really means, why it’s so much more than “sex education,” and how you can begin to walk this journey with your kids—even if you feel unprepared or overwhelmed. I’ll unpack the main themes and practical tips from our discussion, offering actionable advice and expert insights to help you disciple your children in a sexually confusing world.


What Is Sexual Discipleship? (And Why Sex Education Isn’t Enough)

Sexual discipleship is a term that might sound unfamiliar or even intimidating. But as Dr. Juli Slattery explains, it’s a crucial distinction from traditional sex education.


Sex Education vs. Sexual Discipleship

  • Sex Education: Typically a one-time or short-term event—think “the talk,” a school class, or a sermon series. It’s about transferring information: anatomy, boundaries, “dos and don’ts.”

  • Sexual Discipleship: An ongoing, immersive process. It’s not just about what to think, but how to think about sexuality in light of God’s truth. It’s about integrating faith and sexuality into everyday life, shaping not just behavior but worldview and identity.


Key Insight: Culture is already discipling our kids—through media, peers, and even their own experiences. If we only offer sporadic education, we’re leaving the real work of shaping their sexual worldview to others.


parents playing soccer outside with their kids

The Parent’s Role: Reflecting God’s Image and Grace

Parenting is a sacred calling. As parents, we are the primary influencers in our children’s lives, especially when it comes to how they view God and themselves.


The Weight and Grace of Parenting

  • Reflecting God’s Image: How we parent shapes how our children see God. Harshness can make God seem distant; permissiveness can make His boundaries seem arbitrary.

  • Imperfect, Yet Faithful: We all make mistakes. Dr. Slattery shared candidly about her own regrets and the importance of humility and transparency. Our imperfections point our kids to their need for God, not just for us.

  • Modeling, Not Controlling: Our goal isn’t to produce “perfect” kids, but to be faithful, godly parents who model a relationship with Jesus.


Actionable Advice:


The Goals of Parenting: Passing on a Godly Heritage

From a biblical perspective, the goals of parenting are clear but challenging:


  • Pass on a Godly Heritage: We can’t force our kids to love God, but we can create an environment where they see faith lived out authentically.

  • Be a Faithful Influence: Focus on your own walk with God. You can’t control your child’s choices, but you can control your own faithfulness.


Expert Insight: Scripture is full of examples of godly parents whose children made poor choices. Our job is to be faithful, not to guarantee outcomes.


parents with two young boys standing in front of wall

Sexual Discipleship in Practice: Moving Beyond Rules and Restrictions

So, how do we actually disciple our kids sexually in a world that’s constantly sending them mixed messages? Here are the key principles Dr. Slattery shared:


1. Engage at the Worldview Level

Don’t just teach rules—shape how your kids see the world.

  • Contrast Worldviews: The culture says, “Follow your desires; that’s where you’ll find happiness.” Scripture says, “True flourishing comes from surrendering to God’s design.”

  • Use Everyday Analogies: Dr. Slattery uses the “junk food” analogy. Kids (and adults!) naturally crave what tastes good, but not everything that tastes good is good for us. The same is true for sexuality.

  • Explain the “Why”: Don’t just say, “Don’t do this.” Help your kids understand why God’s design is good, even when it’s hard.


Action Steps:

  • Have ongoing conversations about what the world says vs. what God says.

  • Ask open-ended questions: “Why do you think God gives us boundaries around sex?” “What do you hear from your friends or online about sexuality?”

  • Share stories—from your own life or others’—that illustrate the consequences of following or ignoring God’s design.


2. Focus on Surrender, Not Perfection

The goal isn’t to raise “perfect” kids, but surrendered ones.

  • Redefine Success: It’s not about getting your kids to the wedding altar as virgins or keeping them away from every temptation. It’s about helping them learn to surrender every part of their lives—including their sexuality—to Jesus.

  • Expect Struggles: In today’s world, most kids will encounter pornography, confusion, or temptation. If your only goal is to prevent this, you’ll feel like a failure when it happens.

  • Model Grace: When your child struggles, respond with both truth and grace. Use these moments as opportunities to point them back to Jesus.


Action Steps:

  • Normalize conversations about failure and grace. Share how you’ve experienced God’s forgiveness.

  • Pray with your kids when they struggle, rather than just punishing or shaming them.

  • Celebrate progress, not perfection. Growth is a journey.


3. Seize Teachable Moments

Discipleship happens in the everyday, not just in formal teaching times.


Action Steps:

  • Keep communication open. Let your kids know they can talk to you about anything.

  • Don’t panic. If your child shares something shocking, thank them for trusting you and commit to walking with them.

  • Pray for wisdom to recognize and respond to these moments.


4. Own Your Own Discipleship Journey

You can’t give what you don’t have.

  • Be Honest About Your Story: If you weren’t discipled sexually, it’s never too late to start. Your willingness to learn and grow will impact your kids more than you realize.

  • Seek Resources and Community: Engage with ministries like Authentic Intimacy, join book studies, or find a mentor.

  • Model Lifelong Learning: Let your kids see that you’re still growing in your understanding of God’s design for sexuality.


Action Steps:

  • Read books like Surrender Sexuality by Dr. Juli Slattery.

  • Join a small group or online study focused on sexual discipleship.

  • Share age-appropriate parts of your journey with your kids, showing them that growth is ongoing.


Practical Recommendations and Resources


Final Words of Hope

If you feel overwhelmed, remember: God’s grace covers your imperfections. Parenting is not about being perfect, but about being real, humble, and surrendered. Your kids don’t need a flawless parent—they need one who points them to Jesus.


Let’s walk this journey together, inviting our kids into the reality that we’re all learning, growing, and in need of God’s grace. Sexual discipleship isn’t a checklist; it’s a lifelong process of becoming more like Christ, together.


You’re not alone. Take the next step—whether it’s starting a conversation, seeking resources, or simply praying for wisdom. God is with you, and He delights in your faithfulness.


For more resources and to connect with Dr. Juli Slattery, visit Authentic Intimacy. And don’t forget to check the show notes for links to help you on your journey toward wholeness in Christ.


Thanks for joining me on this important topic. Let’s keep the conversation going—your family’s legacy of faith and wholeness.

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