The Key to Confidence: Breaking Free from Shame and Embracing Your Identity in Christ

Recently, I had the privilege of sitting down with Amber Albee Swenson—mom, Bible teacher, and author of The Key to Confidence: Where to Go When You Feel You're Not Enough. Our conversation was honest, vulnerable, and deeply practical, especially for anyone wrestling with shame, insecurity, or a sense of not measuring up. Amber’s story and insights offer a roadmap for moving from self-doubt to unshakeable confidence rooted in Christ.

Below, I’ll break down the main themes and actionable tips from our discussion, diving deep into the nuances of identity, confession, prayer, and the difference between self-confidence and God-confidence. Whether you’re struggling with your past, feeling stuck in shame, or simply longing for a deeper sense of purpose, this post is for you.

1. Understanding the True Source of Confidence

Self-Confidence vs. God-Confidence

Amber is clear: The Key to Confidence is not a self-help book. It’s a spiritual resource that points us away from self-reliance and toward dependence on God. Here’s why that distinction matters:

• Self-confidence is built on our own abilities, achievements, or appearance. It’s fragile—easily shaken by failure, criticism, or changing circumstances.

• God-confidence is rooted in the unchanging character of God. It’s the assurance that, no matter our weaknesses or past mistakes, God is faithful, present, and able to work through us.

“Confidence is faith in something trustworthy. True confidence comes from trusting that God will be with us no matter what challenges we face.” — Amber Albee Swenson

Actionable Advice:

• When you feel inadequate, pause and ask: “Am I trusting in myself, or am I trusting in God’s power and promises?”

• Meditate on Scriptures that highlight God’s sufficiency (e.g., 2 Corinthians 12:9, Philippians 4:13).

2. Breaking the Power of Shame Through Confession

The Liberating Power of Honesty

Amber’s journey is a powerful example of how shame loses its grip when we bring our secrets into the light. For years, she hid her past sexual brokenness, fearing it would disqualify her as a Bible teacher and mother. But keeping her story hidden only deepened her shame.

• Confession to God: God already knows our sins, but naming them specifically in prayer is a step toward healing.

• Confession to Others: Sharing our struggles with trusted friends or family breaks the isolation of shame and invites support.

“Carrying shame is essentially telling Jesus that His sacrifice wasn’t sufficient for my sins.” — Amber Albee Swenson

Actionable Advice:

• Identify one area of your life where shame is holding you back. Write it down and bring it to God in prayer.

• Consider sharing your story with a trusted friend, mentor, or support group. Vulnerability is the first step toward freedom.

3. Embracing Your Unshakeable Identity in Christ

Who You Are Is Not What You’ve Done

In a world obsessed with labels, achievements, and roles, Amber reminds us that our truest identity is as beloved children of God. This identity is secure—no matter our past, present, or future.

• Biblical Examples: Moses, Gideon, Jeremiah, and the disciples all felt unqualified, yet God used them powerfully.

• Scriptural Affirmation: The New Testament contains over 600 names and labels for God’s people—most of them affirming God’s love and redemption.

“No matter what mistakes or hardships we face, our identity in Christ remains secure.” — Amber Albee Swenson

Actionable Advice:

• Make a list of biblical truths about your identity (e.g., Ephesians 1:3-14, 1 Peter 2:9, Romans 8:1).

• When negative self-talk arises, counter it with these truths. Speak them aloud or write them where you’ll see them daily.

4. Moving Past Your Past: Confidence to Begin Again

Your Past Does Not Define Your Future

One of the most powerful chapters in Amber’s book is “You Can Get Past Your Past.” She emphasizes that, because of Christ, our past mistakes do not have the final word.

• God’s Faithfulness Despite Our Failures: Even when we stumble, God remains steadfast and will accomplish His purposes through us.

• Stories of Transformation: From biblical figures to modern examples like Dave Ramsey, failure is not the end—God can redeem any story.

Actionable Advice:

• Reflect on a past failure or regret. Ask God to show you how He can use it for good.

• Share your story of redemption with someone who needs hope.

5. Investing in Eternal Treasures, Not Earthly Distractions

Resisting the “If Only” Trap

Amber warns against the Western tendency to believe we need more—more resources, more gadgets, more “stuff”—to fulfill God’s calling. She shares from personal experience how much time and energy is wasted accumulating things that ultimately don’t matter.

• Eternal Perspective: Focus on investing in God’s kingdom and relationships, not possessions.

• Sufficiency in Christ: Ephesians 1 reminds us that we already have every spiritual blessing in Christ.

Actionable Advice:

• Take inventory of your time, energy, and resources. Are you investing in what truly matters?

• Simplify where possible, and ask God to show you how to use what you have for His purposes.

6. The Transformative Power of Prayer

From Private Struggle to Communal Strength

Prayer is central to Amber’s journey and her book. She describes how her prayer life deepened through seasons of desperation, especially as a mother. Over time, she moved from praying alone to inviting others into her struggles, experiencing the power of communal prayer.

• Persistent Prayer: Amber prayed for over four years about a heartbreaking situation, eventually inviting friends to join her.

• Vulnerability in Community: Praying with others brings mutual support, accountability, and breakthrough.

“Prayer is not something to be neglected or done in isolation but is a vital, ongoing part of the Christian life.” — Amber Albee Swenson

Actionable Advice:

• Start a prayer journal to track requests and answers.

• When a need arises, don’t wait—invite a friend or small group to pray with you immediately.

• Make prayer a regular part of your community life, not just a private discipline.

7. Healing and Growth Happen in Community

Don’t Go It Alone

Both Amber and I agree: Christian growth rarely happens in isolation. The early church modeled daily gathering, sharing, and praying together. Isolation breeds shame and stagnation; community brings healing and wholeness.

• James 5:16: “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”

• Acts 2 Model: The early believers devoted themselves to fellowship, breaking bread, and prayer.

Actionable Advice:

• If you’re not already part of a small group or support network, seek one out.

• Practice vulnerability—share your struggles and victories with others.

• Look for opportunities to pray with and for others, not just by yourself.

8. Living with Hope and Expectation

God’s Future for You Is Bigger Than You Imagine

Amber’s final encouragement is simple but profound: As a child of God, you are equipped to do everything He has prepared for you. Don’t let shame, self-doubt, or your past hold you back. God is present, He loves you, He hears your prayers, and He will help you move forward—often in ways you never expected.

Actionable Advice:

• Dream big in your prayers—bring your “impossible” situations to God.

• Trust that God’s definition of success may look different than the world’s, but it is always good.

Connect with Amber Albee Swenson

If you want to dive deeper, I highly recommend checking out Amber’s resources at AmberAlbeeSwenson.org. You’ll find her podcasts, books, and more—all designed to help you grow in confidence and wholeness in Christ.

Final Thoughts

Amber’s story is a testament to the power of grace, truth, and community. If you’re feeling “not enough,” remember: your confidence doesn’t come from your performance, your past, or your possessions. It comes from knowing who you are in Christ, embracing His forgiveness, and walking forward in faith—together with others.

Let’s keep the conversation going. What resonated with you from Amber’s journey? How have you experienced freedom from shame or grown in confidence through Christ? Share your thoughts below or reach out for prayer and support.

Until next time, remember: You are loved, you are chosen, and you are enough—because of Him.