When Pain Meets Purpose: Finding Hope After Betrayal

If you’re reading this as a wife who has experienced the heartbreak of sexual betrayal in marriage, I want to pause and honor the depth of your hurt. You may feel blindsided, alone, and questioning whether healing or hope is even possible. The questions swirl: Why did this happen? Where is God in the pain? Does it mean anything at all?

As I’ve walked my own journey—and listened to others—I’ve noticed how we reach for wisdom, guidance, and comfort in Scripture. Genesis 50:20 often surfaces in Christian circles as reassurance during hard times: “What you meant for evil, God meant for good.” It’s a powerful statement, but we usually stop there. The full verse actually continues: “…to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”

That extra phrase matters. It shifts the focus. The story behind these words is Joseph’s: a man betrayed by his own family, sold into slavery, imprisoned, and forgotten. Yet when Joseph finally confronted his brothers, he didn’t sweep the pain aside or diminish it. He named it—evil. But he also recognized that God had repurposed suffering to save lives. His years of pain, isolation, and injustice became the means by which he helped countless others survive famine.

What does this mean for your journey?

First, God does not minimize your suffering.

He doesn’t gloss over your pain with a one-size-fits-all promise that “something good will come from this.” Betrayal is real—and it hurts deeply. Your grief, anger, confusion, and sadness all matter profoundly to Him.

Second, God is actively working—even in the dark, uncertain middle.

Joseph didn’t see redemption as he languished in prison. You may not feel hope while wading through sadness, rebuilding trust, or searching for answers. Yet, God moves in hidden ways, weaving threads of grace even when we can’t perceive them.

Third, God’s ultimate purpose is larger than your pain.

Genesis 50:20 doesn’t mean your suffering is required for something good to happen. Rather, it affirms that God never wastes anything. Your pain isn’t a dead end—it can become a place where life, hope, and comfort grow. Sometimes, that comfort arrives in unexpected forms: a renewed sense of identity, deeper empathy, or the ability to walk alongside another person in pain.

If you feel overwhelmed, remember this: you are not alone. There is space for your story and your feelings. God sees you, loves you, and walks with you through every stage of healing. There is no rush; there is no “right” way to grieve or recover.

Let Genesis 50:20 be an anchor to finding purpose in your pain. What others meant for harm—what sin and betrayal have tried to destroy—God can use for the saving of lives. Perhaps your healing will one day encourage another hurting wife. Perhaps your journey will reshape your understanding of grace and mercy. Most importantly, God’s heart toward you is always good, always purposeful, and always loving.

You are supported, seen, and never forgotten.

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